31 August 2024|communication skills, intercultural
After many decades of working with people from all over the world and from a variety of backgrounds and cultures, I am left with one overriding thought.
“Once we remove the cultural curtain or barrier, we are really all very similar.”
Spotlight on Making kindness your key to global intercultural success
When I am delivering training or coaching, kindness is a topic we focus on and come back to. On initial meeting or contact, culture can form a barrier, wall, or curtain. It can make it more difficult for us to understand each other or to work together. It can lead to misunderstandings, complete confusion, or something being interpreted as impolite or inappropriate when it is not.
Sometimes on first meeting the impression can be that the other person is not friendly, or over friendly, or not engaged enough, or too assertive. This can be because culture is clouding each person’s perception and interpretation of the other.
With a few cultural techniques and some understanding and kindness, then the barrier, or wall or curtain starts to fade away and that is when we can start to form a relationship and eventually perhaps a friendship. Then if there are further misunderstandings or confusion because of cultural difference, they will be solved quickly as we have a relationship or friendship as support. After all, it is always more difficult to offend someone who is a friend.
Watching and learning
How can you quickly move away from the cultural confusion?
The short answer is to learn as much as you can but as quickly as you can. You can do this by watching and waiting and then finding the commonality. When you find the common ground, you will find the things that you can reference again. The things which in future will ease communication and grow your relationship.
Another way of approaching and improving cultural understanding is to keep kindness in mind all the time. That means to give other people the benefit of the doubt, to accept differences, to realise that there may be reasons for something that you haven’t thought of.
For example, show kindness if someone changes your name slightly. This isn’t disrespectful, it may be what is the ‘norm’ for them. Perhaps they use ‘dear’ to address you. This may be a simple issue of translation.
Or, if someone isn’t using their camera during an online meeting, then perhaps it is their internet speed prohibiting rather than their choice.
Conclusion
I think the key to forming working relationships and friendships across cultures and nationalities is to remember to be kind, tolerant, and to never stop learning.
The viral photo we feature is of Iván Fernández in a 2013 race capturing the moment when Fernández realized that Abel Mutai had misunderstood the signage, and shoved him forward out of kindness towards the finish line at the Burlada Cross Country race.
“Kenyan runner Abel Mutai was only a few metres from the finish line, but got confused with the signs and stopped, thinking he had finished the race. A Spanish man, Ivan Fernandez, was right behind him and, realising what was going on started shouting to the Kenyan to keep running. Mutai did not know Spanish and did not understand. Realising what was going on, Ivan Fernandez pushed Mutai to victory. A reporter asked Ivan, “Why did you do this?” Ivan replied, “‘”my dream is that one day we can have some sort of community life where we push ourselves and help each other win.” The reporter insisted “But why did you let the Kenyan win?” Ivan replied, “I didn’t let him win, he was going to win. The race was his.”
The reporter insisted and asked again, “But you could have won!” Ivan looked at him and replied: “But what would be the merit of my victory? What would be the honour of this medal? What would my Mother think of it?”
What would you add to this?
Message us with your thoughts on how showing kindness has helped you in your global career.
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